Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
