you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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