airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize