Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
