okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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