I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
