Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
