I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize