erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
