We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
