remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
