"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
