You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize