Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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