I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
