Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize