So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize