Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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