I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
