i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
