GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
