a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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