So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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