i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
