Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
