Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You need a sexual gate keeper
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
