Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
