just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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