You work out of a Hotel?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
