Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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