Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
