I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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