So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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