So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize