I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
