maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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