Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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