i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
