I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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