Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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