i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
