sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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