As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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