All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
