she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
