ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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