have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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