I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize