feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
