please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
