Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
