Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
