You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hippo gnu deer
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
