somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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