Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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