i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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