somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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