do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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