I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
