I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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