She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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