"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
