Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize