DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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