Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
