Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize