your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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