Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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