nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
