He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize